Cold Messenger Tee - Straight To Spam

“Hello there, I just came across your soul…”

Straight from the icy depths of your spam folder, the Cold Messenger has arrived — holding a yellow phone and a misplaced sense of confidence.

This shirt is dedicated to all those unsolicited inbox warriors promising "products SEO" and "multiple folds ROI." If you’ve ever been offered expertse by someone who doesn't know how to use a comma, or doesn't think a subject line on a business email means anything - this one’s for you.

Product Details:

• Designed in Darwin, printed in Australia
• Made from 100% cotton, or 85% cotton / 15% viscose for heather colours (like your optimism).
• Side seams for structure — unlike their pitch.
• Neck and shoulder tape for stability. Again, unlike their pitch.
• Ribbed knit collar keeps its shape, even when your patience doesn’t.

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold. Like their message.
• Do not iron. You’ll only awaken something worse.

Whether you’re ghosting a “growth strategist” or politely telling someone to get in the bin, this tee does the talking so you don’t have to.